> be me > deutsch as fuck > wake up at 6 a.m., but snooze alarm because scheiß drauf > breakfast? kaltes Bier und eine Wurst > check Kontoauszug: -€69, overdraft life baby > "Läuft bei mir." > get in my 20-year-old Golf > exhaust louder than my neighbor’s brat screaming > first stop? Lidl > buy Bier, Brötchen, and a generic Currywurst > old lady takes forever at the Kasse > yell "SCHNELLER, OMA, ICH HAB’ KEINE ZEIT!" > she glares at me > leave without paying for the Pfandflasche, living on the edge > stop at the Autobahn > floor it to 200 km/h because rules don’t apply to me here > some Dutch dude in a caravan tries to merge > laugh in German and cut him off > yell "WILLKOMMEN IN DEUTSCHLAND, HOLLANDER!" > arrive at home > drink Bier while watching RTL2, reality TV trash for the win > neighbor complains I parked on the Gehweg again > "Das ist mein Deutschland, nicht deins, Klaus." > finish day with Döner and another Bier > best fucking day ever